I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
