we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize