apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
