Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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