Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
