I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
