You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
