She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
