Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
