i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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