i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
