if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
