Fine. I'll sleep in my office
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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