She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
just tell him i said nine months
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
