Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
