i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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