You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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