Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
