Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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