Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
