I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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