I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
i need some magic done to my vagina
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
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