you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
