Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
