I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
