is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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