Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
