It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
