Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
