Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
