No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Welp...herpes.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you will always have a special place in my vag
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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