Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize