So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
