y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
