Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
