he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
