let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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