lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
