Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
