He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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