apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
