The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize