you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
this will be a night to untag.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize