Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
