Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
