I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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