i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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