I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
