# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I need water and some morals
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
