fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
