i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I will die if light touches me.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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