So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
