That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize