I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
