"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
