He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
