1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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