I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
