I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize