Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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