i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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