Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
