I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize