worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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