someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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