Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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