something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
