Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
