wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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