my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
