ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize