This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
dude i'm inner monologue high
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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