i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
