That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
