Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
