how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
