I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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