No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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